We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
