craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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