just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
