we're blogging at a bar
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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