Do you still have your period?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
