Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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