id be glad to
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
