The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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