I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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