How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
