Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
