I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
