how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
is that a dick in a sweater?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
