I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
