her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
