Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
