is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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