peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
