Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
