He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
