Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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