god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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