So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
do herpes really smell.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
