I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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