ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
