They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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