I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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