ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
