Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize