My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
