i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
