So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
