I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
