I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
