Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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