PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
