she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
