I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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