I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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