we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
