You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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