And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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