I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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