Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
