I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
