And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
