I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
