Cold hands, warm shart.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
tonight lets celebrate not being married
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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