I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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