Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
