It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
