So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is my gift to your gina
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
