Me. At least after what I've been through.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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