there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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