Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
