Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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