Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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