i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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