Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Mom said you looked used
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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