Don't you send me to vm
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize