you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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