lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
