why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
