Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he just fucked me for my cheese.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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