note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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