my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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