And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
