I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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