i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
